Rap Predictions for the 20's: Accuracy Guaranteed*

Happy New Year! Trylemma and I examined the entrails of a few New Years Eve parties and were able to divine some crazy accurate* predictions about some indie rap personalities for the new decade. Or I'm too lazy to write my regular review for today. Either way, here are 12 things which the cork, streamer and vomit spirits predict are going down in the 20's...

Rap Predictions for the 20's: Accuracy Guaranteed*

1. Noah23 will reveal his extra-dimensional origins through the use of a Chairman MAO inhibitor.

2. Ill Bill will finally find a treatment and become Healthy Bill.

3. MF Doom (DOOM?) will take off his mask to reveal another mask. Then another. This will go on until the universe explodes.

4. $imple will turn out to be a really complicated person.

5.  Sixtoo's stolen hard drive will be found fossilized on Mars. Suspicion will fall on Noah23.

6. Vinnie Paz will change his name to Vinnie Guerra which makes a hell of a lot more sense.

7. In 2029, Swollen Members will record a song for a Cialis infomercial.

8. Bloodmoney Perez will become President of Puerto Rico.

9. Wordburglar will be arrested, with his damning confession ("I burgle words") deemed admissible at trial.

10. Dimxsk will continue to overuse commas, parentheses, and the word "interesting".

11. The Vatican will excommunicate Cee!!!!!!!!!!!!!! over the cover of Jesus Christ Never Existed. Cee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! probably won't give a(nother) shit.

12. Ira Lee will continue to not answer Dimxsk's emails. Suspicion will fall on Noah23.


Wow it sounds like we’re in for an even crazier decade than the one we’ve just survived! See y’all Friday.


*Accuracy not guaranteed in the least. Oh and in the unlikely event that you're an artist featured here and you stumble onto this page, please take these in the spirit they're intended.